Blake- From the Beginning

January 6, 2004 7lbs 11oz 21" long

I was not prepared for a baby when we found out Blake was on the way. I was scared to be responsible for another person. I loved the way my life was...my career was just getting started, I enjoyed living at the lake and all the craziness that went along with it. Looking back, I can see that Blake was a gift from God, that I needed to ground me, and make my life whole. One thing I was pleased about was the fact that, since my Mom was getting older, I was having a baby in time for her to have a relationship with him. My Mom was such a huge part of my life and I wanted her to go through this experience with me. She was very excited when I told her of the new addition to the family !!!

My entire pregnancy was uneventful...I never got too excited, but I did everything by the book to ensure we both were healthy. By the 9th month, I had read every book, watched every birthing episode ever created, so I thought I knew exactly what to expect...I couldn't wait to see my bundle of joy and cry tears of love and live happily ever after...well, things were not quite like they were on T.V. !! The delivery was normal but long, I was exhausted, drugged yet the pain med had worn off, so I was still in pain, and not in the mood to fall in love with anyone or anything. I held him and remember thinking that he didn't look like either Billy or I...he was cute, but that is all i really felt. I was extremely sad that I didn't feel this overwhelming bond with him our first seconds together, but I've never really been a "love at first sight" kinda person. The next two days were hectic with swarming nurses that were "making" me nurse a baby who was too tired to eat. We made it through and by the time we got home, I couldn't stop looking at him, I was falling for the little guy after all !!

Over the next couple weeks, Blake and I spent lots of time together (Billy was out-of-town for work). By this time, it didn't matter "when" I started loving him with all of my heart, the fact was...I forgot what it was like NOT to have him to love.

The smile on my Mom's face when she saw him, the way she squeezed him to pieces, and smothered him with kisses, was exactly what I had hoped for and more. He was the little light of her life, and she was his constant ally, as he could do NO wrong according to her!! He loved his Grammy and even though they only got to share four years together, they were wonderful times !

Blake is six years old and an amazing gift to us. He is always making us laugh, he is ummm...we'll call him "strong-willed" lol!! and above all, he has a huge heart!! He is the best big brother a little sis could ever want. I tell him everyday that he is going to make a wonderful difference in this world!