I grew up as an only-child even though I had three older siblings. They had moved out by the time I can remember. I came along as a surprise to my parents. And when I say surprise, I don't mean the type you get on your birthday that comes along with a celebration...I mean the type of surprise that happens when someone jumps out from around the corner and makes you scream with fright! This sounds like a scary movie now, but anyways...I say it like that because my Mom was 40 years old, my Dad was 56 and both were retired and had three almost-grown children ages 16-22 years old! They definitely thought they were done having babies by then. I wanted to write about this because there are so many little things that remind me of my Mom when I was little. Things that "I" do now, that "she" did back then. Now, with having two of my own kids, I can totally understand why she did some of these things...
I can remember waking up right when Mom would wake up, I was ready to play and she would beg me to go back to sleep for a bit because she "just wanted to have her coffee first". I thought that was ridiculous back then but, I love to wake up and have my cup of coffee BEFORE the kids wake up and the day gets crazy! It feels like a huge indulgence just to get to drink it in peace...
I remember one time...my Mom literally left the house and "hid" from my Dad and I. We went all over searching for her. The car was still home, but she was gone...the whole world could fall apart if she was gone, so we looked and looked and looked. Our house sat on 60 acres and had a big shop building that was just a little walk away....it took what seemed like forever to finally find her and she was just sitting at the top of the shop stairs. The stairs went up to the second story entrance and she was scared of heights, so we never expected her to be way up there. (we must have walked under her, calling her name a dozen times!) She just needed to get away for a sec and now I realize how important that is...sometimes, instead of putting the kids in time out, I just put myself in time out in my bedroom for a few minutes. Sometimes it takes them a few minutes to realize that I'm not answering their questions or getting them the things they are asking for. They go calling for me and end up knocking on the door. I do come out, but that few minutes is nice once in a while!!
I remember thinking that my Mom was soooo boring because she'd turn off the radio and say, "Ahhh, quiet feels good"....you guessed it...I love to hear the "quiet" sometimes! I almost can't believe it myself because I am usually wanting the music blasting, but there are times that the quiet feels sooooo good!
Looking back, it's no wonder that my poor Mom needed a break. She never got one, because I was a kid who always wanted her to play with me. All my friends Moms would complain that all their child wanted to do was watch tv and my Mom would say, "what I would give for JoAnna to want to watch tv..." I hated tv, why would I want to watch a tv show when I could play (with my Mom)??? lol! Anyways, I totally deserve the payback that my kids are giving me. I should be thankful that they will play by themselves sometimes, and will be happy to watch a tv show while I cook dinner. The little things, right?
It's silly that it took 30 years to figure out what my Mom was talking about, but I did. Each and every day, I understand my Mom a little bit more.
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