Sunday, November 7, 2010

Finding God

Lately, I've been feeling compelled to write about my journey toward God. As our family becomes more involved with our church , I learn so many new wonderful things that I thought I should document them so I could always look back...

As a child I went to church with my Mom. I remember Sunday school and sitting next to her while singing hymns. I remember the perfume she wore and the way she sang outload. Although those are some of my most fond memories, I wish I remembered more about what church was really about.

As I got older, we moved away from the church that Mom loved and then tried a few new ones, but really, I was more into school stuff and friends, plus I got a weekend job so church became part of my past. I always knew to believe in God, I always knew who Jesus was and why to be grateful to him, but that was about it. Until...

Right out of high school I started working at a photography studio. The owner took me in, taught me so much and basically filled in as a father-figure to me. He never had any children and I had lost my Dad at fourteen years old, so we just fit together. He was the smartest man I knew. One day, as we stood by the printing machines, he casually asks, "Are you a Christian?", I reply, "Yes, of course."...that was the day everything changed. He immediately started making points of why Christianity was make-believe. The points he made were sound, and provable-according to him and made sense in ways that I had never even thought before. Working together for more than 7 years, I totally believed him. We worked in churches doing weddings and sometimes the pastors would leave in tears from his arguments. He amazed me at how much he knew. At age 24, we parted ways, and although I was no longer in contact with him, the impact of doubt that was left behind seems to never go away.

Thank God for my family. My Mom, Sister, and Husband have gotten me headed back in the right direction. For me, it seems like a really long road, but at least I'm on it!!!

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